DEREK RUTTAN The London Free Press
Kevin Livingston, who nets about $7,000 a year driving a cab, spends a rare evening at home with children, Daniel, 5, left, Rebecca, 7, and Andy, 6. The children's mother worries household bickering over money may be manifesting in their behaviour at school and home.
The gift from her sister sits in the living room of the home Tracy shares with her partner, Kevin Livingston. The picture shows a radiant Tracy, her head gently resting on her hand, her hair pinned into a stylish updo, her makeup flawless.
After the photo shoot, Tracy went to her $8-an-hour job at Quarter Masters, a health food store in Wortley Village, with her hair and makeup still intact.
"They thought I was a customer waiting to come in," she said.
"When you dress well and you look well, they have more respect for you and treat you differently.
"It would be nice to have that, to look the part and feel the part."
These days, the 36-year-old quiet mother of three isn't feeling that kind of confidence.
She is at a troubling crossroads, weighing the responsibilities of her job against the stress of family life.
"I'm under a lot of stress and I can't seem to cope with work, home life, kids," she said.
"I've got to have some time to help with the kids, to be on field trips and stuff like that, to be part of their lives."
Laundry baskets overflow in the living room because the Livingston home has only two tiny closets and little storage. Filing cabinets are stuffed with papers. Kids' belongings spill out of the bedrooms. The front lawn is scattered with toys and chairs.
Tracy and Kevin repeatedly apologize for the mess and their difficulty creating order.
"We're both so exhausted to do anything around here," she explains.
"We clean it, they trash it," he says.
Conversation among adults is strained. Rebecca, 7, Andy, 6, and Daniel, 5, chatter at high decibels before bedtime. Rebecca is singing a rowdy version of The Addams Family theme song and jumping on the top bunk in her tiny room. Andy, the quiet one, is concentrating on his Lego scattered across the carpet at his mother's feet. He grows increasingly frustrated under his sister's taunts.
A smiling Daniel bounces between parents, alternately begging attention and munching a bedtime snack of roasted pumpkin seeds. Periodically, one of the three family cats, Molly, Bear or Jenny, scrambles through the room.
Tracy McCaw-Livingston wants to be sure there's enough money and time for her three children.
Tracy speaks quietly about her desperation to regain control of her life and get closer to her children.
"I was so stressed this weekend I seriously considered quitting my job and told Kevin I would like to be a stay-at-home mom for a year so I could get the kids more manageable."
It's a wrenching decision for the main breadwinner in the family, who just wants to be a good mom. Tracy has worked full time for three years at Quarter Masters. Last year, she earned about $14,000.
Kevin drives a cab from 4:30 p.m. to 4:30 a.m. Last year, after he paid his lease of $255 a week and gas of $150 a week, he brought home about $7,000.
"I think that they feel it is just a rat race. Just as soon as they get in the house, it's go go go all the time. There's no time for quiet time or quality time. It's all rush."
The Livingstons are among the 10.8 per cent of London's labour force that comprises the working poor. Estimates from the city's community services department show 16,665 working people live below the poverty line.
They are the city's less conspicuous poor, low income earners balancing low paying jobs with the responsibilities of home and children. They do a daily juggling act with bills and the needs of their families.
Kevin said he can't see a way for Tracy to quit her job. "If she didn't work, I wouldn't be able to support them from what I make driving the taxi. Even if I work 84 hours a week, I still wouldn't make enough."
He says retraining is too expensive and he doesn't have any options. "I'm not into going out and taking out a huge loan to become someone else like a computer analyst or a truck driver.
"I don't feel much like going to work at McDonald's or anything like that. That isn't going to pay enough either. And then you're only going to get 40 hours a week."
Tracy phoned Family Services London a month ago and is in stress counselling. She is prone to colds and her chronic eczema has left her hands and feet raw. She has joined a weekly discussion group at the Merrymount Children's Centre to help her deal with behavioural problems and sibling rivalry "because the kids are really out of control."
Their bad behaviour is starting to show up at school, she said. "They're acting out, when they used to be really congenial, good kids.
Andy, she said, who is very bright, used to be a "real comedian," but for the last year he has grown serious and bored.
"I have to take some responsibility because Kevin and I are their teachers and we feel a lot of frustration as we're not putting forward a good example for them. We're seeing ourselves in them, our behaviour in them."
She worries the children are being influenced by her frequent financial arguments with Kevin. She is trying to teach them the value of money, giving them a $1 allowance each week.
And the kids know they do without. One night, a hungry Andy asked Tracy for an extra evening snack before he went to bed.
"I felt bad that the stuff I had given him obviously wasn't enough," she said.
The kids wolf down any meal she puts in front of them. "These guys know they're not getting as much."
Each month, Tracy chooses which bills to pay, depending on how much money Kevin brings home. On average, the couple might net $1,600 a month. The $782 monthly mortgage on the house they bought in 1993 is always at the top of the heap. Other creditors may get a payment every couple of months.
They have no retirement savings and are trying to keep up life insurance policies for the kids at $122 a month.
They also qualify for a top-up cheque of about $237 a month from Ontario Works. The cheque for November included a winter clothing allowance, but also a claw-back for an overpayment that came as a surprise to Tracy.
October's cheque didn't arrive until November, and Tracy didn't have time earlier to get through the jammed lines at the city's social services office to investigate the hold-up.
Tracy and Kevin haven't had a night out alone since they went to a movie three years ago. Once a week, Kevin gets out to play darts, and once a month, Tracy has an executive meeting with the International Order of Foresters, an organization that promotes family activities, including entertainment nights and anti-child abuse programs.
Tracy said they get a lot of help from family and friends. Her dad fixed her car, a 1984 Plymouth Reliant. Her mom checks second-hand stores for children's clothing and helps out with the kids.
The couple's differing work schedules mean most of the household and child-rearing chores are left to Tracy, who supervises the frantic morning routine and chauffeurs kids to the YMCA swimming lessons (a subsidized membership so they can swim safely in her parents' pool), Scouts and Beavers. She gets subsidies for both day care and after-school programs.
Rebecca shows off her room and one of three family cats, Molly. Household organization is a constant challenge. Dad Kevin Livingston says of the children's chaos: "We clean it, they trash it."
A glamour photo taken a couple of years ago shows the peaceful, radiant young woman Tracy McCaw-Livingston tries to be.
The scrimping sometimes doesn't go far enough. Tracy uses the food bank once every three or four months for basics. As a host for LifeSpin's Green Market Basket program, which distributes organic fruits and vegetables for a fee, she can get a free box of fresh food for every eight she sells.
There is so much more she regrets she can't give her kids. This summer they splurged on a trip to African Lion Safari when Kevin's two daughters, who live in Vancouver, were in town. The odd overnight camping trip means pitching a tent in the back yard.
Tracy's biggest concern is saving for an $80 Epi Pen, an anecdote for her severe nut allergy that isn't covered by the social assistance drug plan. She has managed to buy one for Rebecca to carry in her school knapsack for her bee sting allergy.
Tracy looks around her house and talks about stripping off the carpets to see if there is a hardwood floor underneath or changing the tattered blinds.
"We've lived here for five years and we haven't been able to paint or paper or do anything we'd like to do," she said.
Tracy had a lot of ambition when she came out of high school in 1981. She opted for a pre-health course at Fanshawe College, then trained as an ambulance attendant at Niagara College.
When she returned to London, Tracy could only get on-call and part-time work. She took jobs as a home nursing assistant and at a fast food all-night drive-through window. She volunteered for the St. John Ambulance.
The couple met in 1987 at a downtown London bar, when she was working at CBS Equipment. Kevin, who grew up in Elgin County, had recently returned from Vancouver where he left behind a broken marriage.
Rebecca was born four years after they met. Tracy enrolled in Fanshawe's Women in Trade and Technology courses hoping to become an electrician. Pregnant with Andy, she remembers with pride strapping a tool belt around her bulging belly.
She landed a job at London Hydro apprenticing on year-long contracts that allowed her to work 12 months and take four off. During the first year, she became pregnant with Daniel and they had enough money to buy their house.
She worked one more contract but then the work was finished. To get a job in another department, she would need to be a licensed electrician, but she was still more than two years away from her ticket.
She enrolled in an enhanced entrepreneurial course and through a job placement landed the job at Quarter Masters. Kevin continued to drive cab and laments the declining pay.
The bills began to pile up. They applied for a social assistance top-up. They were cut off, Tracy said, because Kevin was considered to be a self-employed contractor. It took 11 months and some legal advice to solve the problem. Money was so tight, Tracy said she borrowed from their Canadian Tire credit card to pay the mortgage.
Kevin, who described his own upbringing as rough, says he has tried, too, but the system makes it impossible. He was injured in a car accident as a teen. He never finished high school and at 18, he joined the army but left at 23.
A short time later, another car accident in northern Quebec left Kevin injured and his passenger dead. Once Kevin recovered he returned to Aylmer, only to be arrested four years later on an outstanding warrant for criminal negligence. The charges were reduced to dangerous driving and he served four months of a six-month sentence in a Hull jail.
After he finished his sentence, Kevin decided to leave Ontario behind and move to Vancouver to start over. Seven years later, he came home to drive cab.
Each year, he tries to save enough money -- about $1,100 -- with the extra money he might pick up on busy nights such as Halloween and New Year's Eve to fly his daughters to London
A couple of years ago, he tried to upgrade his education but fell two credits short of his high school diploma. He returned to the taxi business. It's a lifestyle he understands, despite the frustrating nights with few fares and the long shifts he says average out to a wage of $5 an hour.
"I'm not too impressed because I don't get to see my kids. Most of my time is spent in the taxi," he said.
He talks of the dead hours when "you're just tired and you would rather just stay at home and not work. Then if you do that you don't make any money at all. All the money goes to the lease."
There are other things he says he would like to do, such as open his own landscaping business, "but financially it's not in the cards."
Tracy says she doesn't set a lot of goals for herself any more. "My main focus is keeping the kids healthy and in school."
Right now, she just wants to be even a glimmer of the woman in the glamour shot, have a chance to re-assess her family life and get things back on track.
"I have to do something for my own peace of mind."
The Livingstons' basic budget |
|
| Tracy's monthly net income | $900 |
| Kevin's monthly net income | $500 |
| Social services top-up | $237 |
| Total income | $1,637 |
| Monthly Bills | |
| Mortgage (includes property taxes) | $782 |
| Hydro | $120 |
| Gas (budget each month) | $89 |
| Cable | $35 |
| Telephone | $35 |
| Day care and after-school care (after subsidy) | $242 |
| Life Insurance | $122 |
| House Insurance | $33 |
| Food | $200 |
| Total expenses | $1,658 |
| Figures are approximate. These calculations don't include car insurance, gas, Kevin's meals on the road ($35 a week) and other incidentals. | |
Tracy McCaw-Livingston works at a health food store in south London. Despite her desperate need for the income, she has decided to cut back her hours to spend more time with her children.
